Tuesday, December 21, 2004

While just about everybody and his parakeet is offering some sort of "best of 2004" gift guide roundup, I thought I'd give you what you've really been aching for this Festivus. I mean when you wake up in the middle of the night and you can just feel that something's wrong--your life has a gaping hole the size of Anna Nicole Smith in it, and you don't know what to fill it with. You could wander the Earth like Kane in Kung Fu, or I could just tell you to stuff that void where your soul used to be with the...drum roll please...

Narcoleptic Dog Roundup:

An historical overview of narcolepsy research by Dr. Emmanuel Mignot of the Stanford School of Medicine Link

A cataplectic attack experienced by two narcoleptic dobermans playing AVI Video Link

A cataplectic attack experienced by a narcoleptic daschund AVI Video Link

Larger video of both the attacks above narrated by Mignot AVI Video Link

A narcoleptic weimaraner has an eating-induced attack AVI Video Link

Of course, no narcoleptic dog round up would be complete without the Rusty the Narcoleptic Dog Music Video

Monday, December 13, 2004

If you've ever wondered what a conversation between Daffy Duck and President Lyndon Baines Johnson would sound like, give this 'un a listen. It's a real telephone conversation between LBJ and Sealab Commander Scott Carpenter, former astronaut, who is decompressing in a helium-atmosphere chamber.
[Via BoingBoing]

Thursday, December 09, 2004

In keeping with the beautiful boats thread, I give you Chesapeake Light Craft. Chesapeake makes the most popular boat kits in the world, including a whole mess of pulling/rowing rigs, a few sailboats, and some gorgeous kayaks (see Chesapeake 16, below). These kits come with everything you need to build your own boat in a reasonable amount of time. Most of these boats are fiberglass-covered okoume plywood construction, and look excellent finished bright. It's also remarkable to realize that you could build a wooden boat weighing much less than a comparably-sized plastic or fiberglass type would weigh, you can do it for half the price, and at the end you'll have put your sweat and blood into a remarkably fun vessel that will have everyone you encounter with it drooling with envy.


Wednesday, December 08, 2004

If you didn't have internet access, you would miss a whole lot. For example, you would miss being able to read the text of John Stewart's Commencement address to William and Mary College. Just think how much poorer your life would be for it.

You would, of course, also miss Conan O'Brian's Harvard Commencement speech, and Will Farrell's Harvard Class Day speech, also at Harvard. Oh, and then there's Ali G's Harvard Class Day speech--starting to see a theme here? As in a "Harvard gets the dopest mothers around to give speeches (Stewart at W&M was a fluke--he went there, after all), while the rest of us get shafted" theme. Damn. Oh well--their school mascot is the cantab, so they've got to make up for that somehow.
Boats rock. Well, that's not quite true--some boats don't rock. There are boats out there, like the Bayliner Buccaneer, that are so offensive to the eyes that they ought to be recycled into park benches, post haste. But for every ugly tupperware sail contraption and every stinkpot powerboat, there are dozens of beautiful wooden sailboats and historical wooden powerboats. Wait, maybe I got that ratio wrong--maybe it's one beauty for every dozen fuglies. Oh well, there are some amazing wooden boats out there.





I'm going to start collecting and posting pictures of those lovelies. I'll start today with links to Sam Devlin's Devlin Designing Boat Builders. Sam designs and builds absolutely gorgeous wooden boats with a Northwest flair to them; any of these boats would look right at home in the waterways of the pacific northwest--Puget Sound, the inside passage, Gray's and Willapa Harbor, etc. Just imagine Means of Grace (above) sailing at you out of the fog on a rainy day in the San Juans.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004



Bibleman! Bibleman! That's all I can say--Bibleman! Okay, I'll say more: Bibleman is one of the more perverse aspects of Hitler's Jerry Falwell's propaganda machine--he engages in "spectacular battles against the flamboyant villains of Darkness" in his silver plasticised body suit, with what appears to be a Jedi light saber in his hand (^h^h^h Ripoff!). In one episode:
Young Kayla falls prey to the sinister Shadow of Doubt and becomes discouraged about her faith. Bibleman attempts to help but soon becomes the Shadow’s next target and is turned from Scripture shouter to Scripture doubter. Aided by his loyal sidekick Coats, and protected by the Helmet of Salvation, Bibleman turns the tables on the Shadow of Doubt by relying on the truths in God’s Word.

That's right folks, he's protected by his tinfoil beanie helmet of salvation! He also lives in a 'Biblecave' (I shit you not). Here's how to make a helmet of salvation for yourself, so that neither Doubting Thomases nor alien mind-control devices will be able to penetrate your unshakeable faith. Somehow teaching kids to ignore arguments that don't fit with an absurdly narrow interpretation of their religion just seems so predictable and transparent that it's got to shake some believer's head out of the sand.


Of course, when Bibleman can't pull your little rugrats out of the reality-based community, there's always Dance Dance Resurrection!


[Via Red Ferret Journal and BoingBoing]

Monday, December 06, 2004

Of course, if you're going to be a sailor, you'll need to memorize a few things. First: Jimmy Buffet lyrics; memorize all you can. Makes for good humming too. Sometime I'll post some real chanties.

Second, learn to tie you some knots. To help with that, I reccomend a few resources:

  • The Ashley Book of Knots is the knot book. Ask anybody you see tying complex, beautiful knots were they learned them, and it's a good bet they'll say, "I saw 'em in Ashley's."
  • Peter Suber's Knots on the Web is a big repository of knotting information, combining ancient knot art and modern knot theory. Quite a lot of good stuff here.
  • Brion Toss's The Rigger's Apprentice is another classic book, but one which approaches knotwork from the larger context of traditional sail rigging.
  • Ropers Knots Page--I haven't really explored this one yet, but it looks to have a very very large number of knots and links to other knotwork sites.

Anyway, there's some starters and I'll update this post as I gather others.
Methinks the wind hath spoke aloud at land;
A fuller blast ne'er shook our battlements:
If it hath ruffian'd so upon the sea,
What ribs of oak, when mountains melt on them,
Can hold the mortise?

-Othello


Did you see Pirates of the Carribean? Like it? Why not ditch yer shit-kickers and Wranglers, don a period costume, and go sailing for yourself?

Arrrr!


Here are some links to get you started:

The American Sail Training Association (ASTA) is something of an umbrella organization of all most of the US-flag sailing vessels that do sail training as a large part of their mission. Yeah, there are a lot of 'em. You can learn to sail, become a weevil-eatin' salty sea dog on any of these girls, and some of 'em will let you do it for free.

Of the members of ASTA, I've got my favorite:

The tallship Lady Washington is the official tallship of Washington State. She's a working replica of the brig Lady Washington, which was built circa 1750 and lost circa 1799 in a river delta in the Phillippines (IIRC). The replica is 112' spar-to-spar, 68' on deck, has eleven sails (Coasties don't allow stunts'ls or royals because she's rated for passengers), and generally operates with twelve crew, all of whom live aboard. The original Lady Washington was, as one captain of this replica is fond of saying, "The UPS truck of its day," a common utilitarian design that was subject to minor-ish alterations. She likely took the name Washington in order to more swiftly gain a writ to be a privateer during the revolutionary war (if you named your vessel after the general of the American forces, or his wife, it was much easier to gain such a writ).


The Lady Washington (right) and Hawaiian Chieftan at dock.



Later the Lady Washington was purchased by the financiers of the first significant American voyage of discovery to what would eventually become the west coast of the United States. With her mother ship Columbia Rediviva ("Columbia Revived"), Lady Washington rounded Cape Horn and became the first American-flag vessel to make landfall on the west coast. The Lady Washington and Columbia Rediviva described and mapped much of the coast of the Pacific Northwest. The Columbia river is named after the Columbia Rediviva, and Gray's Harbor is named after the captain of that ship. The information gathered on this expedition was essential to Lewis and Clark when they set out to explore the Louisiana Purchase.


The Lady Washington later traveled east to Asia, to trade beaver furs gathered in the Northwest to the Japanese, who valued them very highly for hats. Her captain (Capt. Kendrick) was killed by an errant cannonball during this voyage, and she was sold to the cook for $1, as the story goes. Contact with the vessel was, for most purposes, lost and she is believed to have been sunk in the Phillippines.


Today, the Lady Washington is crewed by twelve volunteer men and women from a range of backgrounds and of various ages. Her primary mission is as an educational ambassador to preserve the lore, art, and romance of the age of tallships and the history of the tallships era. Her home port is verdant Aberdeen, Washington, though she has sailed as far north as Skagway, Alaska and routinely sails as far south as San Diego, California. Volunteer crew are generally invited to work a 2-week volunteer training stint, paying what amounts to the cost of food for that period (~$200 I think), in order to learn the ropes and see if the life of a square-rigger is for them. After that training stint, crew come back as often and as long as they like (when there's a berth available). To learn more about her, follow the link above, see where she is right now (maybe she's in your town!), or call 1-800-200-LADY. Sailing aboard this ship, should you choose to do it, may well be the highlight of your life.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

This is why I love Gizmodo, even more than Engadget:
"Did you know Choctaw was one of the few languages that had a tense to indicate the veracity of the statement being said? I read that on Slashdot yesterday. Did you know Slashdot was staffed entirely by elves, or men dressed like elves? I love their little shoe bells, which are known as 'Gawlowski' in their melodious language. Did you know this PaperHub, a combination USB 2.0 and FireWire hub that doubles as a paper tray, was shown to me by press contact David Gawlowski, who works for the creator-company Pressure Drop, which has an office on Choctaw Road in Bend, Oregon? What are the chances?



Everything is interconnected into life's tapestry, which is like a poster, but made out of cloth and not paper, and with kings and chicken banquets on it instead of glowing, black light mushroom unicorns or Lamborghinis."