If you didn't have internet access, you would miss a whole lot. For example, you would miss being able to read the text of John Stewart's Commencement address to William and Mary College. Just think how much poorer your life would be for it.

You would, of course, also miss Conan O'Brian's Harvard Commencement speech, and Will Farrell's Harvard Class Day speech, also at Harvard. Oh, and then there's Ali G's Harvard Class Day speech--starting to see a theme here? As in a "Harvard gets the dopest mothers around to give speeches (Stewart at W&M was a fluke--he went there, after all), while the rest of us get shafted" theme. Damn. Oh well--their school mascot is the cantab, so they've got to make up for that somehow.