So long as I'm yakking about John Ashcroft, here's the obligatory John Ashcroft sings "Let the Eagle Soar" video. Yes, he really did do that. Yes, he really did write that song himself. I'm pretty sure that's why he got sacked.

Condoleeza Rice: Good morning, sir, it's time for your daily security briefing. So if you'll just please...
George W. Bush: Get some briefs? Heh Heh Heh. That one gets 'em every time. You know what Condi?
Rice: What Mr. President?
GWB: You know what Condi? I was just poking around on the internets, like Dick showed me how, and I googled our boy John, and there's this video there, have you seen it?
Rice: I'm not sure what you're talking about, Mr. President.
GWB: Well, it's this video of John after his speech at a seminary in, I think, Georgia, and he's singing. Cheesy music from a boombox to accompany him and all.
Rice: I'm not sure I follow, sir.
GWB: My question is this, Condi: Why didn't this show up at our security briefings? I mean, what the fuck? Do we really have to keep giving ammunition to the Axis of Evil?
Rice: Umm...Mr. President, I thought we agreed that teenagers on the internet are not part of the Axis of Evi..
GWB (interrupting) You said that! You said it. I never agreed. Anyway, fool me once...shame on...liberals. Can't get fooled again, you see? Right after the re-coronation, we're dropping John like he's a hot armadilla on a cold tin roof, got it?