Okay, so I'm a-gonna wax a little self-indulgent here and talk out loud about how I think this blog is about to change, but that's my right, okay? Anyway, if a blog post is made in the depths of cyberspace and nobody's around to read it, does it make a sound?

So I think I'm about to get a little more topical and more commentary-based, though I know that's pretty overdone in the blogosphere. But topical--that means you get to apply me to your skin, doesn't it? That can't be done *all that often*, can it? Anyway, I just want the opportunity to force my opinion onto more people more often, that's all.

Speaking of which, in the time I was gone (read: had better things to do/was too lazy to post) a couple of things happened. First, and most importantly, 59M Americans done smoked theyselves retarded. Second, by way of explanation of the above, a new species of human was discovered. These new guys, as you no doubt already know, are tiny--the height of a toddler with a cranium 1/3 the size. The fossils that have thus far characterized the species date to c. 18,000 YA, meaning they may have cohabitated with H. sapiens on the island. I'm pretty sure they could have located new species of troglodyte pretty easily just by visiting polling booths in 'middle America', but scientists are generally smarter than to go there.

The third thing that happened was I graduated from ma fancy-pants caw-ledge. They gave me a nice receipt certificate and a carrying case and everything. I'm a little bummed that the carrying case doesn't seem to have a belt-clip on it, but I'm sure somebody has an aftermarked add-on for it. I haven't looked yet, though. Graduation was great--got to walk across a stage and shake El Presidente's hand, and some good friends came up to see it. The only disconcerting bit was when the Dean of Students made everybody drop trow and stamped us all "USDA certified SMART" on the left cheek. I guess all colleges do that these days, but it still seems a little excessive.